I am A Tenderfoot.

I like to fancy myself a manly man, even though I just said fancy myself.  However, traveling out west makes me feel like a giant pussy.  The “frontier” is very desolate and isolated and for some reason that frightens me.  I am quite convinced that lurking around the corner is a giant mountain man that wants to wear my ass as a hat.  Add the fact that having Sprint for your cell phone carrier is like carrying a pistol loaded with blanks.  Good idea in theory, however pretty useless in practical application.

There are giant pockets of open space out west and all of them don’t want you to use your cell phone.  While traveling doing comedy I have  lost complete cell service twice.  Once was in Minnesota near the north shore and the other is the 196 mile trek between Missoula, MT and Lewiston, ID.  196 miles without having a phone that you can rely on.  Not to mention you are basically descending down the side of a mountain the entire 196 miles, unless you are going the opposite way then you are climbing the mountain.  Either way, its some scary shit to this tenderfoot.  Some areas don’t even have a guard rail, and when you are being followed by an eighteen wheeler you tend to notice that more.  Giant mountain, no guardrail.  It is the closest that I have ever come to a suicide mission.

You would think the more I travel out west the more I would get use to it, but that is not really the case.  Give me a guard rail and a cell tower and this tenderfoot is one happy, fancy boy.


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